Sunday, July 6, 2008

Something Silly

Once upon a time there was a frog. Now, you would think that this frog was special in some way, but, no. He was just a normal, everyday green frog that sat back on his haunches and croaked. The one thing that did stand out about him was that he had wings. Shiny, thin, veiny wings protruding from his shoulder blades. People walking by him past the river never noticed because they were so clear that unless the frog was actually using them, no one could see them. And the frog never used them. He was too lazy, so he just sat and watched the water rushing by, occasionally flicking out his tongue at a passing fly.

One day a young man actually sat down next to the frog. He too sat and watched the river run its course, but he did look down and notice the frog after a few minutes.

“Oh, hello, frog. Didn’t see you there at first. How’s it going?”

Well, duh, the frog can’t answer, so he just croaked. “Ribbit.”

“I know the feeling,” the young man said. He watched as the frog flicked out his long pink tongue and captured a fly. “Must be nice to just be able to sit here and have no worries. I wish I could be like you. Having no emotions whatsoever. I bet you’re not in love with someone you can’t have.”

Well, now, this annoyed the frog. Just because he wasn’t human didn’t mean he didn’t have feelings. So for the first time ever, the wings on the frog’s slimy back spread out and started to flutter. The young man watched in amazement as the frog’s body lifted from the ground and flew to another part of the riverbank, the frog’s legs dangling underneath him. The man followed, and as soon as the frog landed, the man snatched him up.

“You know, frog, that is just amazing Who ever heard of a flying frog? I think I’ll take you home with me.”

Ribbit.” Which in frog language means, I don’t want to go home with you. But the man wasn’t fluent in frog, so he carried the frog up to the path and down to the village.

I know you want me to tell you that the young man, who by the way is named Jeremy, showed off his frog to the love of his life and she fell madly in love with him and they lived happily ever after. Sorry. She was totally grossed out.

EW!” She shrieked. “Get that thing out of my house! Frogs are nasty to begin with, and then to add wings to them! That’s just wrong!”

She kicked both Jeremy and the frog out of the house. Literally. Landing in the dirt on his bottom, Jeremy shook his head. “You know, I don’t think she’s the one for me.”

Ribbit,” the frog said sarcastically, which means, What gave you that idea?

It’s ok, she wasn’t that pretty anyway. So, Jeremy and the frog were sitting in the mud, Jeremy depressed and the frog not caring, when a girl noticed them. She was about average height, short blond hair and glasses. She looked at Jeremy, and then she looked at the frog. Curiosity got the best of her and she walked over to them. Jeremy’s jaw dropped as she neared because she seemed to get even more beautiful as she moved closer. Like that’s possible, but whatever…

Anyway, she said, “What are you two doing in the mud?”

Ribbit,” the frog said, meaning, This guy’s an idiot, get me out of here.

“Oh Um, well,” Jeremy said quickly. “You know, mud is very good for the skin.”

The girl snorted and looked at the frog. “Cool frog you’ve got there.”

“You think so?”

The girl nodded.

Jeremy grinned, and the girl noticed the dimple in his left cheek. “Look what he can do.” He poked the frog hard enough for the frog to spread it’s wings and fly a little ways away. The girl was so impressed by this that she praised the frog.

This made the frog feel incredible. Wow, he thought. If he had known flying would get this sort of reaction, he’d do it more often. So he did. As Jeremy and the girl, who preferred to remain anonymous, walked away hand in hand, the frog flew between them. And all three of them lived happily ever after.

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